It has been quite a while since I’ve written here and so much has happened. God has blessed my life tremendously in the past few months. A lifelong dream to own my own clothing store opened for me and I am now the proud owner of a store and working at a job I absolutely love. I have progressed tremendously in the battle against ocd. For the most part, my life is normal again, with the occasional hiccups everyone has. I will tell you that it has not been easy and there are times when I’m under a lot of stress or my hormones are going crazy, that I can still experience symptoms and have to make the choice to fight through them. Getting free from a stronghold in your life is never easy, but it is possible with God. I know. I’m living proof. I heard Joyce Meyer say on her program today that facing up to our fears does not mean we don’t feel fear. It means that we feel fear and press through anyway. If you are waiting to no longer feel fear in facing your ocd, then you’ll never face it. What I am learning is that my ocd is not so much about my fears anyway, but about my need to control a situation. The more out of control I feel in areas of my life, the more I see the ocd try to rise with the lie that if I give in I’m controlling the situation. Here’s the kicker for that – we are never in control. No one is. You have to learn to just trust God in all things and not just some things. I’m good about trusting God when I know there is just absolutely nothing I can do, but if I feel that I should be able to do something or could do something then I am in there stressing myself out over it, when it would be better to just turn it over to God from the start. I would lose a lot less sleep over it. Owning your own business gives you many more opportunities to stress. Sometimes I’m successful in leaving it in God’s hands and sometimes I worry myself right into stress and the opportunity to create a battle with ocd. When fighting ocd, you have to go straight into the stronghold of fear and just face it head-on with God. He will help you win the battle. It is also important to take care of yourself when you are in stressful situations. Take time off for you and do nice things for yourself. Maybe for you that’s a gym workout, a pedicure, a facial or a massage. Maybe it’s spending time with your friends and learning to laugh again. Whatever it is that de-stresses you is what you should do. God created you to have hope and a good future. So lighten up today, trust God and know that the best is yet to come!
I am sorry I haven’t written in a while. I’ve started a new job. Just finished my third week and it has been exhilarating, sometimes scary and fun. There were days I had a ton of anxiety and relied on prayer warriors to pray me through, but through I came. The days got easier and I hope those anxiety days are fading more and more into the past. What I know is that everyone has anxiety in the beginning, but sometimes if we have had severe anxiety in the past, we overreact to what is normal. In other words, we blow it up in our minds to be something that it is not. We feel some anxiety and we think we are going back to some dark place we have been in the past, when in reality it is just normal anxiety that everyone gets and feels. We serve such a gracious and big God and sometimes I really get that in ways I never have before. Other times, I lose sight of some of that because I turn my focus back to a problem. If we could all just keep our focus on God, our light and momentary troubles would seem small and distant in the light of His love for us and care for us. Do you know that we are never alone? We never walk into a situation alone. Never. God is with us every step we take, every breath we take, every move we make. He is with us. He never lets go of us or lets go of our hand. If we got that on such a deep level and took hold of it in our heart, I think our lives would change in such dramatic ways. We can’t prepare for everything that comes our way, but we can know the God who carries us through anything that comes our way. He has brought you this far and He will not leave you to face what you are going through now alone. He will never leave you. No matter who has left you in your past. God will not ever leave you! I want to live my life in such a way that I step out into every single blessing that God has for me. I don’t want to miss one. If that means facing more fears than I ever thought possible or doing things I never thought I would or could, then that is what I want to do – or at least do my very best at trying and giving God the rest. I may not always do it perfectly, but I want to live a life that God is proud of – one where I get to Heaven and God says, “well, done my good and faithful and brave servant.” I want to be able to say, “I’ve fought the good fight, I’ve finished my race, I’ve kept the faith.” Oh, how I love my savior. My walk with Him is not always easy, but it is worth it. I would like to ask you all to keep praying for me as I learn this new job and face some obstacles emotionally that I’m facing now with anger about the past. I want to live a life of peace and I know you do too. So, you just have to get up everyday and so do I, and press on fighting the good fight of faith and trusting God with the rest. I love each and every one of you in this fight and I know how hard it is and how hard it can be. But, we only have one choice and that is to fight it all the way through to victory. So fight on brothers and sisters. Your race is almost won.
Getting through ocd.
I wanted to share this video because they sang this song in church yesterday and I almost burst into tears. I found this video and I thought it was amazing. I hope it encourages you!
“It’s what we do over and over and over again that gains us the victory,” Joyce Meyer.
I heard her say that on her program this week. How true that is for ocd. What you do over and over and over again in standing up to the fears makes them back down. It is not something that we do once or twice, but over and over. I’ve noticed after several trips lately with others that I’ve had to face many issues with people in my personal space and having to get ready outside of my comfort zone because of it. Each time that has happened, I got a little bit stronger and it spills into other areas as well. It’s kind of like the row boat in this picture. To get to the island, you can’t just row the boat once or twice to get where you are going. You have to row over and over and over again until you reach your destination. The same is true for ocd. When facing down your fears, you have to often do it over and over and over again until you no longer fear it. I’ve found it also helps to turn on your logical thinking and tell yourself the truth about the matter not what the ocd tells you. So, what is it that you’ve done once or twice and then quit doing in the fight against ocd because you thought it was too hard or you thought I’ve done it twice and nothing has happened? Take that thing and do it over and over and over again until you conquer it. It is best not to let too much time pass between the exposures either I’ve found. It is even better, for instance I had an issue with some shoes – if I go and put the shoes back on the next day and wear them the whole day then they’ve lost their contamination issues for me. But, if I don’t and I avoid the shoes, then the shoes become more and more and more of a problem for me and it is harder for me to deal with them and put them back on. So, if you know that something is bugging you and you are ready to face it on your hierarchy of fears, then tell God you are ready and just jump in and face it. Kind of like just jumping in the water instead of slowly getting in or ripping off a bandaid instead of slowly torturing yourself with removing it. Don’t jump in if it is something huge on your fear list and you have not conquered other smaller fears first, but if you are ready and we always know when we are, then why not just do it as the Nike slogan says. You may have to do it repeatedly over several days or maybe even weeks before you are completely comfortable with it, but you will see you get stronger each time. And, the good news is that sometimes on some fears, it may only take you a couple of times or one time to get over it. And, sometimes after you’ve conquered all those smaller things, the big things aren’t as scary anymore anyway. So jump in with God when you are ready. If you need the courage, ask God for it. And, most important ask Him to lead and guide you in what you need to face and in the time you need to face it. He will you know. Here’s hoping you all have a wonderful Labor Day weekend and remember me in your prayers on Tuesday as I start a new job and might be quite nervous. Love to you all and know you are never alone in what you face.
Getting through ocd.
God loves you! God is not mad at you! God believes in you! God is proud of you and is not ashamed of you! God is not angry with you! He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.
We all need to hear this. So stop right now and read these words over and over again until you feel them sinking into your spirit. Say it. God loves me. God loves me. God loves me. God is not mad at me. He is not angry at me. He is proud of me. He believes in me. I am strong in Christ and I can do all things through Him. These should be our mantra until we get completely free. Now, let me share some good news and then let you know that after huge breakthroughs sometimes you can feel a little backslide, but it is nothing to worry about or get stuck on. It is just part of the process.
I was offered a job and I took it. I begin working in the sales field at the beginning of September. It is completely out of my experience and it is not what I ever planned to do with my career, but it is a job and I have the potential to make a good living if I am good at it. It remains to be seen whether or not I’m a good saleswoman. I have reached a point where I feel I need to work and God did open this door which was the answer to my prayer so for some reason there is something here for me to learn that will help me with what He has next for me to do.
Now, just before and right after that I have had some major exposures with pills. I went to the hospital and visited my brother following a surgery and was I exposed. I was out of town so I couldn’t do anything about my clothes and I couldn’t very well go back to the hotel and shower before dinner. In fact, I didn’t want to. I survived. After that, I did really well, but a few days later I experienced an increase in symptoms. I tell you this to let you know it is normal and part of the process to your freedom. They subsided and I experienced an even bigger breakthrough. A few days after I accepted the job, I was in a restaurant. A woman pulled out her medication, took it and I didn’t get up. I didn’t wash my hands. I didn’t come home and shower. I didn’t shower before bed. Huge, huge breakthroughs. But, the devil was mad so he started a huge argument between me and my husband that brought up some very old issues. It might have been one of the worst fights we’ve had, and believe me we’ve had some doozies. I say all this to let you know that your freedom and my complete freedom are coming. Don’t let the devil discourage you after a breakthrough if you have a few bad days. Just know that is to be expected and more breakthroughs are coming and it will continue until you are completely free. So know this. God loves you. God is not mad at you. God is proud of you. God wants you well. Someone here needs to hear that. God wants you well. And, you will be as long as you keep cooperating with Him and following Him.
I love you all! My heart goes out to you all! I know what you go through! I know the fight seems long and hard! Believe me I know. I want you to know I’m proud of you! If you never hear another human being tell you that they are proud of you on this earth know this – I am proud of you! It takes strength and fight to do what you do to get free! You are to be commended for a job well done! At the end of your life, God will say to you – Well done good and faithful servant. Well done! You have kept the faith. You have finished the race. I am so proud of you! I love you so much! – God.
Getting through ocd.
As many of you know from reading my blog, I’ve been on a job search after more than 10 years of working in the same field in Atlanta. We’ve moved and for the last probably three months, I’ve really been searching for a job. I made it through an entire interview process with one position and just knew I was going to get a job offer only to find that it didn’t happen. I was told the decision was very close, but they went with someone else who had the exact background they were looking for in that field. I’ve had several other rejections without even getting to the interview process. Now, I know some of those jobs were posted because they had to be posted, but the employer already knew who they were going to hire. That happens, but it can really start to get to you when no doors seem to be opening in an area where you’ve always thrived. I couldn’t understand it. I have great experience and made a name for myself in my field. I felt I had a lot to offer. Why was no one noticing and rushing to hire me? I’ve prayed that God would open the doors He wanted me to go through and close the doors He didn’t. And, doors started closing. Now, I’m in a position where I cannot control the outcome. I have to trust God. Hmmm. Sounds a little like coming out of ocd. We have to give up control with our rituals and little things we do to try and protect ourselves. Our striving to do things just so or perfectly because that in some way protects us from bad things happening. It’s interesting that every bad thing that happened to me, I never saw coming. There was no way to ward it off. If we are going to walk in complete freedom from ocd, at some point we have to start trusting God completely. That will come in time. The more we venture out in faith and see God come through, the more we begin to know we can trust Him. The more we read His word and get to know Him and His promises, the more we begin to trust Him. It’s not an overnight process as much as we’d like it to be. Once we’ve mastered the fears of ocd, I think whatever else comes our way will be a piece of cake for us. Because you see, we will have learned to trust God and fear will no longer have a stranglehold on us. Know this, whatever phase you are in at this moment in beating your ocd, you will come through it in one piece and whole again. You have to fight and keep persisting. You have to want your life to change so much you are willing to do anything God tells you to do in order to regain your life. He will tell you to face your fear. You won’t do it alone, but you will do it if you want to be free. It may take some time and you may walk it out in baby steps until you get a suddenly and your freedom comes swiftly. Or, you may walk it out in giant leaps and bounds with occasional small steps back until you are completely free. But, I know if you continue to cooperate with God, you will get your life back and it will be a great one! And, when you do, you are not to sit back on your heels. You are to get out and share your story with others whether in your church, or community or workplace or on a bigger stage. You will need to be instrumental in helping others to get free and give them hope. They might not even be suffering from ocd. They may have other problems or other issues and they need to hear someone’s story of hope. And, your story will be that story to them. So, let’s take back the reins with Jesus and gallop full speed ahead into our very bright future for we know that all things work together for good for those who love Him.
Getting through ocd.
Have you ever wondered in your fight against ocd, who is fighting for you? We so want people to stand beside us and help us in the fight, but so often we find just the opposite is true. We see people who are supposed to love us the most, hurt us the most and don’t understand what we are going through. They are only human and a human is not perfect, cannot love us perfectly, and well let’s face it, will from time to time let us down. Just as we let others down from time to time without meaning to do so. But, sometimes we find ourselves in a fight and we do truly feel we are all alone and no one understands. We begin to feel sorry for ourselves if we have been in the fight for too long. We wonder does anyone really love us? Does anyone really care enough to fight for us? And, what I want to tell you is something I heard in my bible study this week and it nearly brought me to tears. Someone will fight for you girlfriend and guy friend. Your savior Jesus WILL FIGHT FOR YOU!!!! He holds you so tight that your name is engraved in the palms of His hands. Don’t you ever feel you are in this fight alone! You are not alone! You have God on your side! Do you understand that the God of the Universe, the God who put everything together on this planet, the God who formed you in your mother’s womb is fighting for you! That is no puny little God. That is a God who is bigger than anything you face and His power lives on the inside of you. He didn’t say all of our battles would be easy, in fact, He told us in this world there would be trials and tribulation, but He also told us to take heart because He had overcome the world. He has given us power to trample on scorpions and all the schemes of the evil one – and believe me ocd is a scheme of the evil one. He has given us power to pull down and overcome every stronghold – and you better believe that ocd is a stronghold of fear. Fear can be overcome. It must be faced, but it can be overcome and your GOD IN HEAVEN IS FIGHTING FOR YOU!!!You better believe it and stop letting the enemy walk all over you with his pathetic lies. You speak scripture back because that is your sword and you spend time with your God, personal time getting to know Him. That is how you fight with Him and regain your life. He fights for you, soldier. You are a soldier in the Army of God and you never have to worry if someone is fighting for you, if you are worth fighting for. You are worth fighting for and God has told you He will fight for you! So, get up and try again. It’s not how many times you get knocked down that matters, it’s how many times you get back up! GET UP, GET UP, GET UP AND FIGHT! The time of your redemption and restoration is near.
Getting through ocd.